The US Army Special Forces have a common line that “people are more important than hardware.” They have a professional obsession with building strong, capable, smart people who will go forth and succeed at any given task. In this regard, we parents and educators have something in common with them and should seek to learn from their best practices. Our concern as parents and educators is building up our students to empower their future success. We can and should learn from Special Forces and apply their best practices appropriately to the task of building up our students to help them succeed. No, I am not saying we should be teaching rifle marksmanship, handling explosives, or hand-to-hand combat to students in math class. I am talking about teaching students the general principles of proper mindset, discipline, developing good habits, the will to take decisive action, and a never quit attitude – universal principles that will help anyone succeed in any endeavor.
Mindset
One of the things we can start with is instilling proper mindset. One of the most powerful points I have learned from reading about Special Forces is to develop the habit that, when faced with a tough problem, instead of saying “I can’t”, ask the question “How do I?” This is a powerful mindset shift which we should strive to instill in our students, and which we would all benefit from. For more on this and a fun story that illustrates the point, see The Asset Mindset by Daniel Fielding (former Army Special Forces soldier).
For example, suppose you are a working professional with a long commute, in addition to the full 8 hour workday. Instead of saying “I can’t get to work and actually be alert and function well, at a high level, after that long drive” ask “How do I …?” After getting out of bed, could you do a few pushups or light calisthenics, just enough to help you wake up and get the blood flowing to prepare for the long drive to work? Then when you arrive close to work, could you do a longer workout at the nearby gym to really energize yourself for the day?
In that same situation, instead of saying “I can’t make time to read or learn anything new because of this long commute” ask “How do I …?” Could you listen to audio books on topics of learning interest while driving to and from work?
If a student is faced with a problem of maintaining good focus during the hours spent studying, instead of saying “I can’t focus well enough to actually benefit from studying”, ask “How do I?” Could the student cycle short periods of intense study focus with short periods of total rest, thereby allowing them to maintain good focus through their hours spent studying? Could they search for references from professional educators, as well as experts in cognitive science or related fields, about tips and strategies to improve study methods?
If a student has a tough math problem, instead of saying “I can’t”, they would be better served by asking “How do I?” Can they read the problem carefully, extract key pieces of information, and then consider what tools or equations and formulas are available that work with that sort of data? Could they consider a simpler problem of the same type to get clues? Could they ask a friend, a tutor, or their teacher for help?
If you run a business and are struggling to attract more new clients, instead of saying “I can’t get enough clients”, ask “How do I?” Could you read more books on the topic of marketing, and apply the strategies presented? Is there someone you could ask for help, a coach or mentor? Can you ask your current clients how they would go about replacing your service/product if you went out of business and had to find a new provider, thereby giving you clues to how your ideal customers think and then adjust your marketing strategy accordingly?
Another element of the Special Forces mindset is an ingrained need for continuous learning and continuous improvement. Special Forces soldiers are constantly training, or constantly going to various specialized school such as SCUBA, Ranger, language school, sniper school, and so on; when they are not actively engaged in missions downrange. Similarly, we should encourage our students to continuously strive to learn, grow, and improve themselves. Maybe this means getting a tutor for that little bit of extra help in a class. Maybe it mean taking a class at the local community college, because their high school does not offer that class. Maybe it means a daily prayer or meditation practice to strengthen their spirit. Maybe it means reading the books on mindset and discipline that their tutor recommended to help them improve their mindset and habits for success.
Included as a subset of proper mindset is knowing who you are, what you stand for; knowing what is right and necessary in order to be who you seek to be, and doing it without regard for any external accolades or rewards. It must not matter whether you are praised or scorned, you must learn to do what you know is right, consistently putting forth your best effort based on the fire within your own heart and soul. Often, Special Forces teams operate in isolation, far from home, far from higher command, far from any extensive friendly support. They have a mission, they have themselves and their own gear, weapons, and their skills and mindset. Armed with only those assets, they must complete their mission and return home safely.
When OSS (Office of Strategic Services) Detachment 101 was deployed to Burma during WWII to fight the Japanese by sabotage and guerrilla warfare, a general in higher command dismissed the commander of Detachment 101 simply saying “All I want to hear are booms from the Burma Jungle.” (For more on this story, see The Illustrated History of the US Army Special Forces). In The Unit, Adam Gamal writes about his experience going through the Unit’s selection course, and freeing his mind from concern about who may be watching or judging him (despite knowing that indeed, Unit cadre were watching and evaluating everyone closely to determine who would be selected for the Unit). Instead, he focused solely on doing his best, doing what is right simply because it is right, and praying that it would be enough to succeed. Spoiler alert, he did complete the selection course successfully and served honorably in the Unit for many years.
In a typical Special Forces selection course, no feedback is given to the individual candidate. Instructor cadre assign the candidate a task, tell the candidate to do their best, and then watch how well the candidate performs. In fact, during Delta Force selection, candidates are not even told what the time requirement to complete the ruck march is. If they ask cadre about this, the only answer given is “just do your best.” There is no “good job on that one!” or “hurry up, you need to do better!” A task is assigned, the candidate does their best, and the evaluators, well, they evaluate. Candidates never hear from the instructor cadre how they are doing, until the very end of the course when they are told whether or not they have been selected to enter the training pipeline for Special Forces. To sustain one’s best effort in the absence of constructive criticism or feedback is a serious mental challenge, and it requires high motivation and an iron will from the candidate.
How often do we see kids crying because “the popular crowd” didn’t approve of their shoes, or their new dress? Or because they fear the scorn of their peers or family for not earning an A in math or science class? Or they take part in hazing and humiliating another student, despite knowing it’s wrong, simply because they are afraid that if they don’t go along with the crowd, then they too will be the next target of the bullies? Wouldn’t it be better for their mental and psychological well-being, not to mention their ultimate future success and ability to stand up for themselves against the wolves and predators of the world, if they learned to rely on the fire inside their own heart and soul, rather than external validation? Special Forces understand this, and students would do well to learn this as well.
In the past, I have often told students that to be truly satisfied in life (not necessarily wealthy or academically successful, although it can help with achieving those things), they must be willing to stand up and say “this is who I am, this is what I stand for, this is where I am going in life,” and be prepared to take massive action in accordance with that stance, as well as to defend that stance against any challenger – even against me.
Discipline
Although we often think of military discipline in terms of standing at rigid attention and shouting “Sir, yes sir!” in response to a question, that is not really the point of this discussion. The word “discipline” entails the meaning of being a “disciple” to a higher purpose that you truly believe in (see The Way of the SEAL by Mark Divine, former Navy SEAL officer). Once you have the strong purpose and firm belief, doing what needs to be done in service to that purpose comes more naturally. Discipline here is a matter of doing what must be done to serve your higher purpose, in spite of short term discomfort.
What’s the purpose of your health habits? To lower your cholesterol and blood sugar; to stay healthy in order to be there for your kids? Once you know this, when you are tempted to reach for a jelly donut, having this purpose in mind makes it easier to choose a piece of fruit and whole wheat high fiber flatbread instead of the donut. Knowing your purpose of improving health to be there for your kids, it is easier to get off the couch and exercise instead of sitting there watching television and snacking on potato chips. In this case, health discipline flows from being a disciple to this higher purpose of staying healthy so that you can be there for your kids.
Does the student have a strong desire to be an engineer, because they love building things and want to work with new technology? Having that purpose in mind makes it easier to make the conscious decision to study math diligently, instead of wasting five hours playing video games and surfing social media. Keeping that purpose in mind makes it easier for the student to make the conscious decision to stay out of trouble, keep their record clean so that if they need to apply for a security clearance for a future engineering job, things will go well for them. Study discipline flows naturally from this student’s higher purpose of sincerely wanting to become an engineer in the future.
What is the purpose of your study of martial arts, and making the effort to practice good tactical habits of situational awareness? To come home safely to your spouse and kids? Having that purpose in mind makes it easier to decide to practice martial arts regularly. Having that purpose in mind makes it easier to consistently maintain a good tactical habit of situational awareness, so that your spouse and kids won’t be attending your funeral someday because you were not paying attention and did not see the bad guy in time to avoid him bashing you in the head with a rock so that he could take your purse or wallet. Your higher purpose of staying safe to be there for your family makes it easier to exercise the right discipline in tactical matters.
Self-control is a subset of good discipline. We must learn to keep our mind and heart under control, even in times of stress – especially in times of stress. Meditation and deep breathing practice can help train ourselves for this purpose. See the advice about deep breathing and “still waters run deep” in The Way of the SEAL. Also refer to the same book’s description of the DIRECT (Detect, Interdict, Redirect, Energize, Communicate, Train) method for dealing with negative thoughts and negative self-talk.
In the movie Basic, in one scene Samuel L. Jackson, playing the role of an Army Ranger instructor, yells at a trainee “What is your weapon?! Your weapon, man, what keeps you alive and makes the other guy die? It’s your brain.” He goes on to talk about keeping your wits about you under stress and chaos.
That was fiction, but here’s an example from reality. In the book Full Battle Rattle, Changiz Lahidji (former Army Special Forces soldier) writes about a time when he was on patrol with his team and they were ambushed. The first thing he did was take a knee behind some cover, take a few deep breaths to calm down, and then he started to return fire at the enemy.
I recall tutoring a group of Marine applicants to help them improve their test scores in order to qualify for service. At the end of the tutoring hour, I gave them a little pep talk to provide encouragement on getting through boot camp (basic training). After telling them not to take it personally if instructors were hard on them, because the instructors have a limited amount of time available and are genuinely trying to make sure that the recruits become good Marines, I advised them “when an instructor is screaming in your face, don’t let it get you down. Just take a deep breath, focus, and get the job done.”
Students may get stressed out about a heavy workload, the upcoming volleyball tournament, difficulty on an important exam, whether their crush has feelings of affection for them in return, things like that. We must help them learn to remain calm in spite of those stresses, so that they can think clearly and function effectively so as to put forth their best effort and perform at their full potential in whatever they do.
Habits
We are not what we wish, we are what we consistently say and do. Developing the right habits is an important key to ultimate success, in the same way that good hygiene habits are important to staying clean and healthy. Do you brush your teeth every day? Do you take a shower every day? This is a daily habit which you know is important so that you stay clean and healthy. What if you took a shower one day, and then skipped it for the next 10 days? That would be disgusting, right? Of course you take a shower every day to stay clean and healthy. It’s a habit you practice daily to achieve your goal of good hygiene.
Habits for success work the same way. Success is not built in one-time heroic grand gestures, but by daily small steps performed consistently and diligently with discipline. An athlete does not wait until one week before the big game and then spend six hours training. Long before the big game, they begin training steadily, consistently on a regular basis. They do this to gradually build the athletic ability, the strength and skill that they will need to be successful in competition. They show up every day, whether they feel like it or not. It is a habit that they know will help lead them to success.
Soldiers have the discipline to wake up daily at the same time for morning exercise (PT or physical training). This is a habit that they follow to build and maintain a strong, healthy body capable of dealing with the physical demands of soldiering. They don’t train one day and then skip ten (unless maybe the suffer an injury, in which case appropriate rest is warranted), that would be as bad for their physical fitness as skipping ten days of showering would be disgusting.
A student must develop the habit of consistent, regular study and practice in whatever field or subject they are learning. The habit of discipline and consistency will provide a strong foundation for the student’s future success at whatever they do in life.
Similarly, we need to eliminate bad habits. Spending five hours at a stretch scrolling through social media or playing FPV video games is toxic for a student’s brainpower. It wires their brain to look for a quick hit of dopamine, and a short attention span, instead of training them to focus deeply on a topic of interest. This is comparable to the difference between a junkie desperate for a hit of cocaine, instead of a disciplined athlete preparing a healthy meal with the right balance of nutrients to nourish his body and sustain good health and support good athletic performance.
The best way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit. Instead of playing video games, it would be better for the student to play a paper/pencil/dice role-playing game or tabletop miniatures game with their friends, without the aid of any calculator. This encourages social skills with other players, collaborative problem solving (e.g. “how do we work together to defeat this dragon and get the treasure?”), and basic math (for a good example of this, look at the rulebooks for Battletech or Mechwarrior tabletop or role-playing games sometime, you will quickly understand that it involves some arithmetic).
Instead of screaming and shouting in anger, a student can learn to let it out by practicing karate and striking a punching bag to release that pent up rage, anger, and frustration. With some students I tutor, the ones I know have difficulty with emotional self-control, I encourage this (I bring my Thai pad and hold it for the student to strike). I don’t do this to encourage violence, I do this to encourage the student to let his anger flow out in a healthy and safe manner so it does not consume him and prevent him from being able to think clearly, does not prevent him from being able to study and learn properly.
Instead of sitting on the couch snacking on potato chips and cookies while watching TV, a person could stand up and practice martial arts or do some shadowboxing while watching their favorite TV show. My former karate sensei taught us this as a way to squeeze some extra training time into our daily schedules. Don’t like to practice martial arts? Maybe practice yoga or do some calisthenics while watching TV. There’s plenty of exercise that you could do with a single good kettlebell while watching your favorite evening TV show.
Taking Decisive Action
A common theme in military training is learning to act decisively. This is a valuable skill for non-military personnel as well. Should I go to graduate school or remain in my current job? Do I stay in graduate school or drop out to join the Army? Do I go straight to college after high school or do a stint in the military or the Peace Corps first? Do I study medicine, law, business, or engineering? Should I marry my girlfriend of two years, or break up so that we can both find a better match? When that bad guy starts shooting into the crowd, do I run out the back door or break the window next to me in order to leap out and get to safety? If a bad guy with a knife confronts me, do I hit him in the throat, or just turn and run away?
In the movie The Karate Kid, there is a scene where Mr. Miyagi asks Daniel “Are you ready to begin your karate training?” Daniel responds “I guess so.” Mr. Miyagi sternly replies “No, no ‘guess so.’ Either you do karate ‘yes,’ or you do karate ‘no.’ You do karate ‘guess so,’ you get squished like grape.” I know from painful personal experience that lingering in a bad situation without making a clear decision to either make it better, or to leave completely for something else; leads to disaster. Over the years I have had to struggle to be more decisive in order to avoid the “I guess so” disaster.
In the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation, there is an episode where Commander Riker puts Wesley Crusher in command of the geological survey of a new planet, as part of Wesley’s education and professional development. Sitting in the Ten Forward lounge, Wesley is hesitant about his command and asks Commander Riker for some advice. Commander Riker sees that Wesley needs some encouragement, and basically tells him to make a decision, give the orders, and move the team forward on completing the geological survey. Wesley asks “but what if I’m wrong?” Commander Riker responds “well then you’re wrong. It’s arrogant to think that you will never make a mistake.”
The book Left of Bang: How the Marine Corps’ Combat Hunter Program Can Save Your Life talks about observing the environment and people to look for anomalies. It states the Combat Rule of Three, that when we see three clear indicators of something or someone that simply does not fit the normal pattern for that time, place, and situation, we must decide on a course of action. It does not state that we should decide, but that we must decide once the threshold of three clear indicators of an anomaly is reached.
The US Marine Corps book Warfighting states “We must have the moral courage to make tough decisions in the face of uncertainty, and to accept responsibility for those decisions” because “As a basis for action, any decision is better than no decision at all.” That section of the book concludes with the famous military line, “A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan executed a week later.”
Cade Courtly, a former Navy SEAL officer, writes in his book The SEAL Survival Guide that when confronted with a dangerous situation, we should strive to rapidly devise three options, decide from among those three options, and then execute that decision with all vigor and energy possible.
A common problem I have seen is that people wait too long before asking for help. This is fundamentally a decision problem. They did not decide early enough to take the necessary action of asking for help, or at least deciding to do something different from what they had been doing up until that point – better results requires different actions. In one extreme example, a student waited until he was in danger of failing math class before asking his mother to hire me to tutor him in math.
If a student is struggling in a class, it clearly means that whatever they have been doing up until now is not achieving the desired results. They need to make a clear decision to do something different in order to achieve better results. Business as usual and hoping for a lucky break is not a good strategy for success, in any endeavor.
Never Quit
A common theme in military training is a never quit attitude. This attitude of resilience is beneficial to anyone, in any field, not just in the military. A US Marine Corps drill instructor addressing a new class of recruits at the beginning of basic training, at one point shouts “Most important of all, NEVER QUIT!” There is a line from the US Army Special Forces Creed – “I will never surrender. If I am taken, I pray that I will have the strength to spit on my enemy.” The updated, more politically correct version of this line is “I pray that I will have the strength to defy my enemy.” But, I think you get the point.
Sometimes not quitting is simply a matter of saying “I’ll quit tomorrow.” Then when tomorrow comes, delay quitting another day. Procrastinate on quitting long enough, and you can discover that you just didn’t quit.
In The Unit, Adam Gamal writes that often a candidate quit the Unit’s selection course when they were only a few hours away from finishing. If they had simply kept going a little bit longer, they might have been successful and been selected to join the Unit. Instructors for that selection course do not tell candidates in advance when the course will end, and so candidates simply have to keep doing their best for as long as they can.
Sometimes life is like that – we don’t know how many job applications we must send out before getting an offer. We don’t know how many contacts we need to meet until we can sign up enough clients. We don’t know how much better we need to do at our job to get the promotion and the raise that we want. Continuing to move forward with a never quit attitude will not always guarantee success. But if we quit, failure is guaranteed.
In the book Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card, at one point Valentine is encouraging Ender to continue his military training so as to be prepared to serve as an officer and lead warships into battle against the alien enemy, she says “If you try, and then we lose, it’s not your fault. But if you don’t try, and we lose, then it’s all your fault. You killed us all.”
I have presented some of the more notable principles I have learned from reading about the military in general, and reading about Special Forces in particular. Stories and examples presented have been taken from both fiction and non-fiction, I hope you have found the stories entertaining enough to leave an impact about the points I have attempted to present. I also hope this article gives some food for thought as you approach the challenge of how to help your students succeed. What do you think? Please leave a comment below. Thanks for reading.