Students, I know sometimes your parents, instructors, coaches, tutors, and so on may be hard on you at times. I remember going through that when I was a student, and I’m sure you will experience this in some way during your journey through school as well. It is an inevitable part of a student’s life. You are not alone in facing this. People like you have gone through this before, people like you are going through this now, people after you will go through this.
When this happens, don’t let it get you down. All of these adults have a finite amount of time available, and for the most part, they are genuinely doing their best to provide guidance and encouragement to help you succeed. Will their advice be misguided? Sure, that can happen. But keep in mind that it’s not done out of malice, it’s done with the intent to mold you into an adult who can succeed and stand on your own two feet in the real world.
Now, admittedly, the real world that you will face is going to be different from the real world that your parents and teachers faced in their younger adult years. Times change, and we must learn to adapt to those changes. There’s a cynical line about how an army is always training how to fight the last war it fought, and not the next one that may be coming. We only have history to rely on as hard fact, any guesses about the future are just that, guesses. We may guess right, we may guess wrong.
I am not saying that you should always listen and obey every single instruction from parents and teachers. I know that I personally regret bowing to pressure from friends and family to stay in grad school instead of dropping out to join the Army (I already had a Bachelor’s degree at that point, more than enough education to begin a stint in the Army). Advice from my family and friends was given with good intentions (they did not want to see me get shot, bombed, or killed in combat), but actually following their advice was the worst mistake of my life because I gave up on something that I truly cared about and would have been willing to put forth my best effort to excel at. But understanding that pressure for parents, teachers, and other adults in your life most often comes from a place of genuine concern for you future, will, hopefully, at least make it more bearable rather than driving you completely insane.
So when an adult is lecturing you or screaming at you about something, just take a deep breath, focus, and get the job done. This is the same advice I give to military applicants about dealing with the pressures of boot camp. You can learn to control your inner emotional and mental state and focus on accomplishing tasks that need to be done, but you’ve got to put in the effort for this. And this effort is worth it, if only to preserve your emotional well-being when people are putting pressure on you.
Be willing to look deep and ask why your parent/teacher/coach/tutor/uncle/whoever is putting this pressure on you. I have read that asking the question “why?” several times is good practice. Once you understand that, it can go a long way to alleviating the pain this pressure may be causing you, and may give clues as how to reason with the person. Understanding the reasons behind something can be helpful in finding mutual agreement. And at least you will know where you stand.
But what do you think? Please leave a comment below. Thanks for reading!