Students, communicate with your parents and teachers. Yes, we really DO want to know what is on your mind so that we can help you, guide you, and encourage you to become the best possible version of yourself. We need to know.
We need to know if you are stuck in a downward spiral because of a recent breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, we actually do want to know about it. None of us are machines, we are people with hopes and dreams and messy emotions that can affect our cognitive ability and our executive function. It is unrealistic for us to expect that you would perform at top capacity if you are under extreme emotional stress.
We need to know if you’re hurting inside because you just attended your friend’s funeral yesterday. Yes, we want to know about things like this so that we can provide compassion, encouragement, and support. No one expects you to be an uncaring machine. We are all only human.
If we are coaching you in football or teaching you dance or martial arts, yes, we actually do need to know if your knee or ankle hurts, or if you feel a sharp pain in your shins with each step as you run. Our goal is to build you up into a strong student athlete, not to permanently cripple or destroy your body. We need to know about these things.
Please keep the communication lines open, we really are concerned about your future and helping you succeed. I know, sometime it is easier to shut down because you feel like there is too much pressure from parents and teachers. But this often just reinforces or allows bad habits, and in some cases only worsens whatever downward spiral that you are stuck in. Especially if you are struggling, we need to know. Do not wait until you are almost failing a class to tell your parents to find a tutor to help you – by that time it is much harder for the tutor to help you secure a positive outcome in that class. If you had cancer, finding it early gives the doctors the best chance to provide a full treatment and cure for you. The same idea applies with identifying academic problems early, so that intervention can be most effective in helping you succeed.
Do you resent the pressure to study to become a doctor, engineer, or whatever career path family (e.g. parents) have tried to pick out for you? Yes, you need to speak up and let them know. Really. Ignoring problems won’t make them any better. Better to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe, now, with safe people (your parents), so that when you need to stand up for yourself against not-so-safe people (the bullies and wolves of the world), you have already had practice. At least your parents are not going to get into a fistfight with you for clearly stating what you believe and where you are heading in life (at least I certainly hope not).
If someone has harmed you, is harming you, or has threatened to harm you, we DEFINITELY need to know so that we can protect you. Don’t listen to any of that b.s. people might try to tell you that reporting it won’t do any good, that it’s your own fault for bringing it on yourself, yada yada. No, really, we need to know about this kind of stuff.
Sometimes it feels like the adults never listen and appreciate your concerns? You are not alone. I have known friends who felt this way when we were in high school. I cannot guarantee a positive outcome, but I can guarantee a negative outcome if you do not even try to communicate. Be polite, be respectful, but be firm.
School is the last safe place where people in authority over you (your parents and teachers) actually place top priority on your well-being. Once you enter the workforce, the people in authority (your boss, corporate leadership and HR) place top priority on how much profit they can earn from your labor – your well-being is most definitely NOT their primary concern. Corporate leadership will not hesitate to throw you under the bus if it serves their profit margin. So please talk to us while you have the luxury of authority figures (parents and teachers) who genuinely care about your well-being.
What do you think? Please leave a comment below.